A fool in love

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There comes a time in life when you realize that you are not getting any younger and decide to take your life more seriously. You decide to be more matured, more receptive and open; believing that true love exists and that your prince charming is just around the corner to sweep you off your feet and make it all worth it.

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That was me…some time ago.

One day I was in my room and someone knocked, I got to the door to find a course mate of mine, one of those course mates that you know facially but never really speak with, standing outside the door. I greeted her casually thinking she had either missed her way or just needed information from me. She asked if I knew a certain Ayo and I wondered which one she meant because I mean…Ayos are a dime a dozen here. She proceeded to mention his name and surname AYO OLAYEMI which made it even easier. The Ayo she asked me about, attended the same church with me but just like her; the course mate standing outside my door, I had never really spoken with him before. The next words to come out of her mouth surprised to me to say the least. She asked for my number on his behalf and skeptically but happily I gave her my number because he was someone I had actually crushed on from afar but nothing serious because I felt he didn’t even know I existed.

The course mate-I-rarely-spoke-to left and I went to bed wondering how he knew what school I attended, why he never bothered to talk to me in church. For a brief moment, all the plans and resolutions I made a while back concerning my life, came rushing back to my mind like a wind. I brushed it aside and then continued with my studies.

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Sometime later my phone rang and behold it was Ayo, I sounded a little excited…maybe too excited. We talked at length. It felt like we had always been friends. After the call that night, we became fast friends. During one of our phone conversations, he revealed how he had always liked me and how he felt he could have a relationship with me because he believed we were compatible.  It felt like God had seen my heart and gifted me with my very own prince charming.

Photo by William Stitt on Unsplash

The conversation that sealed the deal, was during a youth trip. He was so attentive but then again, why not? he was genuinely interested in me after all. He knew virtually everything about me and always made time for me. This gesture alone convinced me that he was indeed my prince charming.  He called every day.

Everything was perfect…Until his ex-girlfriend came into the picture…

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He told me he didn’t love her, that he had even gone as far as changing his number but somehow she got it and never let him rest or even have friends. I thought it was a funny and silly post break-up tantrum, not knowing that my own time would come.

Even before I got to know about this ex-girlfriend, she already had issues with me as a person and had said so many malicious things about me, criticizing me even down to my makeup and dressing and I didn’t even know her. In spite of all this, I tried to avoid her whenever I could or be civil towards her when we met.

Immediately she discovered that Ayo and I were an item, she nearly went mad.

Ehen… back to my “love story”; Ayo even came to visit me in school as often as he could with lots of love care and food. FOOD!!!!!😍😍. As far as my friends  and in fact everyone who met him were concerned, he was a great guy.  Like every other relationship, we had issues but I decided to concentrate on my  upcoming exams. After the exams we picked up where we left off, determined to make it work while only own, I decided to be a good woman and keep my man. LOL! What a joke. What I didn’t know was that while I was preparing for my exams, he had gone back to her or did she knack pigeon on his head? Abeggi! Who are we kidding here? One can never snatch a guy who doesn’t want to be snatched. Unless well of course, at gun point…

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Okay so it was summer and we seemed to be doing well in the relationship department. Ago was such a great guy (yimu). He was always there for me. He was caring and loving. I just couldn’t get enough of him. Unfortunately, aunty ex-girlfriend would not let our love be. She even graduated from malicious statements to actually stalking my every move on social media. She bugged Ayo so much that I could feel it even when we were apart. She did so many evil things to us especially me but I kept fighting for a love that didn’t even exist. He never even asked me to be his girlfriend because this ex wouldn’t let him breathe. It got so difficult that he stopped talking to me. Chai! this stupidity was like P#$% milk, it was in me, I could not help it.

At a point he started enjoying the attention from the two of us. He even started to talk to me anyhow, while I hung in there, just trying to be the good one…the one who wasn’t giving him any trouble…being the “wife material”. In the middle of one of our increasingly frequent arguments, he called me desperate. I tried to explain how I felt to him and for some reason, he calmed down and we made up. Things were great again…or so I thought but ex-girlfriend was really determined to make sure our relationship didn’t last. He hurt my feelings so many times, did things that made me mad and at times depressed but I tried to keep it together.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was the day he asked me to accompany him to the bank to perform a bank transaction. I was surprised, given the state of our relationship at the time but I agreed, happily to go with him. He left his phone with me and I gave into the urge to go through his messages.

He had earlier stopped chatting with me and told me that if he needed to get in touch with me, he’d call. Why? because he doesn’t feel like chatting…

I accepted this change in our relationship…foolishly…without probing further.

I picked the phone and went directly to his messages what I saw was enough to kill me. I summoned courage to move on to his chat with ex-girlfriend and what I saw this time just did it for me. He made me less of than a human being in the chat and ex-girlfriend was enjoying every bit of it.

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He got back and noticed my attitude but didn’t even care. He dropped me at home and didn’t bother to call to ask what happened. I called him to talk about it but he started his usual nonsense talk. Seeing that there was no headway, I ended the conversation. Afterwards I sent him screenshots of the messages I saw.  He immediately became calm and tried to defend himself and his ex. I felt so stupid. The little devil on my left shoulder started…

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Wait first! This guy isn’t even the coolest, most handsome, nicest or even the most presentable guy out there. Babe you deserve better. But nooooo as the “good girl” that you is nah, you’ll be there deceiving yourself that no one is perfect and you should appreciate what you have. You’ve forgotten the time he used to talk about how he can never marry his ex because she was ugly and fat and that if he eventually did he would cheat on her. You’ve forgotten he went back to this “ugly and fat” ex and she humiliated him calling him a pig. Whose shoulders did he cry on? yours…

Wait…did I tell you that part?…No? no need…as I was saying….

Why did you stay after that debacle? You hoped he’d finally see you for who you really were, his angel in disguise…*RME*  You kept telling yourself that he was just caught in a situation where he didn’t want to hurt his first love of donkey years. All he needed was time abi? LOL!  Continue ehn? Madam Endurance.

Once again I ignored that annoying but sensible little devil and called dear boyfriend and asked him to come back to me, to try to make things work. The love that was once a Lamborghini Veneno now looked like a rickety old 1977 Peugeot. The type that you had to push a good distance to start up. When it dawned on me that my relationship was heading for an iceberg, I called him up to choose between ex-girlfriend and myself. He told me to give him three weeks. I was fed up so I insisted. What came next was something else. He bragged about how he and ex-girlfriend had known each other for a long time and that having come this far, he had decided she was the best for him. To call that a rejection was the understatement of the year. He apologized for the time wasted and ended the conversation.

Photo credit: i.am.rebecca via Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-ND


Wait! Remember that time you were in your room jejely in school and he went through all that stress just to get your number? Remember how he told you that he was in love with you because you were perfect for him? Remember how he described his ex as one ugly fat girl who was also a bully and how a pastor told his mom that she was not his wife? Remember all the effort you put into being the beautiful and calm girlfriend? 

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I called my sister around 3 am crying like a baby. The rejection was too terrible. What did I do to deserve this kind of treatment? He stopped talking to me almost immediately. He saw me in church sick and had to leave mid-service but didn’t even bother to call to ask what happened. It was like I was a witch that God had finally delivered him from. Anyway he did call me something similar once. I became a shadow of myself. He didn’t even care. I don’t think he ever did. I had to pick up the pieces of my life and put them back together, one day at a time. I know I’ll get over this…with time, I believe this wound will become a scar and hopefully disappear forever.

How can love be so wicked?


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